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Chapter 8

Incestuous Sex, Lies, and a Journal Hidden Under the Mattress.

“I made it look like a gang hit. I made sure my brothers never raped her again. The police were happy to collect their bodies and erase a dozen unsolved crimes with the death of them. As if wiping out my past, by wiping out them, with no one else to hold me back, I was reborn by the death of them. They were no good,” he said to her with a face full of sorrow.

“You don’t have to tell me anymore, Malcolm, if by making me explicit in your crime makes you uncomfortable. I understand,” said June rubbing his big knee. “What you say to me, I’d never tell anyone. You can trust me with your secret.”

“Thank you, June,” he said looking at her as if he wanted to get it all off his chest. If June had suspected he had never told anyone what he had done, she’d be right. He looked at her as if trying to read her before continuing. “The much maligned stereotypical, inner-city black male, when there are more good, young, black men and women than bad, they hung their bad actions on everyone else. In and out of jail, gangbangers into drugs, robberies, assaults, beatings, carjacking, and rapes, you name it, they did it. All three of my brothers had rap sheets longer than my arm. Even though I still had a foot in the gutter, somehow I was able to pull myself out of the sewer and they weren’t. Yet, with me being their brother and their deep pocket, I was always there helping them, bailing them out, paying for lawyers, giving them jobs, and buying them cars,” said Malcolm looking away from June to look at the floor of the car.

“You’re a good man, Malcolm,” said June.

“As if they were angry that I made something of myself, it didn’t matter all that I did for them, they wanted more. They weren’t happy unless I was doing a poorly as they were. I tried to get them to return to school to learn a trade but they wouldn’t go. They said they could sometimes make more money on the streets in a day than I could make in a year.”

“You tried being a good brother by setting an example and by showing them a different way that they refused take,” said June. “None of what happened was your fault, Malcolm. You shouldn’t feel guilty about doing what you did in protection of your sister. For all you know, having already crossed that incestuous line and getting away with it by sexually assaulting her once, now an easy victim with their invisible tramp stamp they put on her, they may have sexually assaulted her again and again.”

“The last straw was when they tried to involve me in one of their dirty schemes. They threatened to blackmail me and extort money from me for a mistake I made with my sister a very long time ago, if I didn’t go along with them. Stupidly, when I had been drinking heavily one day, I entrusted my brothers with my incestuous secret,” said Malcolm looking at June with shame. “Had I done what they wanted me to do, I would have lost all that I worked years to build. I would have lost my company and my reputation in the community. Worse than that, I may have gone to jail.”

“Just be thankful that you turned them down,” said June.

“I cut them off for good and had nothing more to do with them for almost a year. I didn’t answer my phone when they called or open my door when they came knocking. They knew how to get to me by using and abusing my sister,” said Malcolm looking at June and pausing before continuing. “They knew I’d come running when she called.”

“So what happened with Lucille? Tell me. You can trust me not to tell anyone,” said June looking at Malcolm with a face full of as much curiosity as she had understanding. “How could they sexually attack their own sister?”

“Lucille was the baby of the family and, fun and funny, she liked everyone and everyone liked her. Except for my three, bad seed brothers, we all helped one another and looked out for one another. A close knit family growing up, we always had one another’s backs. Then, as we matured, our family dimension changed. Now only out for themselves, my three brothers were jealous of my success.”

“That happens in the best of families, Malcolm,” said June.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t have the best of families. I had the worst of families,” he said with coldness. “After my brother Louis was shot and killed in a drug deal gone bad and my brothers, Marcus and Anthony, absconded with the money and the drugs, they needed a place to hide. It wasn’t the police they were hiding from, it was their own gang members.”

“Geez, Malcolm, it’s good that you stayed clear of that, otherwise the gang would be looking for you,” said June.

“Being the gregarious and affable person she is, my sister took their heat. Agreeing to put herself in danger to help them, Lucille put them up in her apartment after my sister Camille refused to help. They stayed with Lucille for a few weeks before their incestuous lust for her grew completely out of control,” said Malcolm with sadness. “It wasn’t from my brothers’ czech harem porno gang that Lucille needed protection from, it was her own brothers.”

“I’m so sorry, Malcolm,” said June.

“With my brothers staying at her place, a small, one bedroom apartment, and with them drinking and doing drugs, it wasn’t long before they started spying on her dressing and undressing. Except for the front and back doors, with her not having locks on any of her doors, not even the bathroom door, they continually peeped on her. Then, taking it a step further, she told me they were always brazenly walking in on her, standing there, and watching her as she was dressing and undressing. She told me that they were always walking around her naked and flashing her their dicks.”

“Eww, gross,” said June. “I can’t believe they did that to her, the poor woman.”

“Lucille told me that what started out as an innocent hug and kiss turned into groping and forced French kissing. She resisted their sexual advances but, growing bolder with their lust, they continued to escalate. With them touching her where no brother should ever touch his sister, when they tried kissing her and putting her hand on their cocks, she had enough of hiding them. When she asked them to leave was when they raped her,” said Malcolm holding his hand in his head. “They raped my baby sister.”

“That’s unbelievable. That’s so shameful. That’s despicable,” said June. “How could they do that to their own sister?”

“Now, don’t get me wrong, Lucille can take care of herself. No lightweight, she’s a big woman, six foot tall and one-hundred-seventy pounds but, grabbing her from behind, they bound her wrists behind her back with one of those police twist ties and covered her mouth with duct tape. Coercing her to tell me the details of what happened, after giving her a lot of patient understanding and brotherly loving consideration, she told me that they sat her down on the couch. Then, as if it was a scene taken from Stanley Kubrick’s Clockwork Orange or a video taken from a Japanese subway train where men molest women in public, they took their time cutting off her clothes with a pair of scissors.”

“Good God, that’s so bizarrely shocking,” said June.

“As if they were playing a sick game, they cut holes in her blouse to expose her bra before snipping out pieces of her bra to expose her nipples and breasts. Then they cut pieces out of her pants to expose her panty before snipping holes in her panty to expose her pubic hair, pussy, and ass. With my sister crying behind her duct taped mouth and her clothes looking so much like Swiss cheese, Marcus cut off the rest of her clothes while Anthony felt her breasts, fingered her nipples, and licked her pussy. Once she was naked and submissively quiet, they threatened to stab her with the scissors if she didn’t blow them. They removed the duct tape from her mouth, pushed her to her knees, and forced her to suck them. Forcing her to swallow, she told me that she sucked Marcus first and then Anthony.”

“Bastards,” said June. “Those dirty bastards! If they were here now, I’d kill them myself,” said June.

Stripping her, touching her, and molesting her, as if she was some cheap party whore they brought home from a strip club, Marcus spread her legs, mounted her, and fucked her. Then Anthony did the same. I was never as angry when Lucille told me what they did to her,” said Malcolm grabbing the back of his car seat with his big hand, violently shaking it, and looking as if he was going to rip it out of the car.

“Calm down, Malcolm. It’s okay,” said June rubbing his leg.

“I needed to hear from my sister’s lips what happened before confronting my brothers. Even then, after they raped my baby sister, I gave them every consideration of mercy and every chance for them to redeem themselves by them telling me the truth. Instead of being honest with me, instead of being a man and admitting what they did, they lied. Looking for some sign of remorse, when all they gave me was their contempt, seeing myself in them in the way that I used to be, I knew that if I didn’t end their lives, they’d ruin mine.”

“You did what you had to do,” said June. “It’s okay, Malcolm. It’s all behind you now.”

“Instead of saying they were sorry, instead of begging me for mercy, instead of wanting to make amends to my sister, before they died, they told me that the sex was consensual. What fuckers! Can you imagine them blaming poor Lucille for their incestuous depravity? How low can they go in their depravity. When I looked in their eyes, a criminal to the very end, they truly believed that they were innocent of raping Lucille.”

“Wow,” said June.

“They told me that she was the aggressor. They told me she was coming on to the from the first night they were there. They told me that she’d dress and undress with her bedroom door open. They told me that she was the one teasing them by walking around her apartment topless and naked. They czech mega swingers porno told me that she wanted to fuck and suck them but, knowing my Lucille in the way that I do, I knew better. I knew they were lying. Just as I knew the bad men my brothers were, I knew the good woman my Lucille was. In the way I put them high up on my pedestal, just like my mother, my baby sister was a saint, Saint Lucille. With the woman incapable of lying, I just had to look in Lucille’s eyes to know the truth.” Malcolm looked away from June to stare out his car window.

“I’m so sorry, Malcolm. I’m not a violent person, but I understand that you did what you had to do,” said June looking at Malcolm. “I don’t think I could kill anyone unless they were trying to kill me or my children but it must have been so horrible for you to have to murder your brothers for the safety of your sister.”

“Getting away with crimes all their lives, serving too little time for all that they did, they deserved to die for what they did to Lucille,” said Malcolm making a big fist and pumping it. “They had no right to do that to their own sister. What they did was so wrong, especially after she helped hide them.”

“Some people are just born evil, Malcolm,” said June.

“After all that happened, she was never right in the head. She had nightmares. I tried getting her to see someone, but she wouldn’t go. Afraid to go out, she never left her apartment. On the pretense of having her do some paperwork for me, I supported her, paying all her bills and expenses. She didn’t even go out to buy groceries. She bought all that she needed online and had them delivered. That’s when she started gaining weight. No doubt eating from stress and not even going out to walk, she ballooned to more than three hundred pounds.”

“The poor, poor woman,” said June.

“A sad and lonely existence, she remained alone with no man in her life and no children. Then, one day, years after the sexual assault, after she didn’t answer her phone, I went to her apartment” he said looking at June with tears in his eyes. “I found her dead,” said Malcolm hanging his head. “She killed herself. She committed suicide. Thinking that this was the final chapter and the worst of it, the death of her would have been the death of me, had I not found my salvation and my redemption by stumbling on the truth.”

“Oh, my God. How so tragically sad? I’m so sorry, Malcolm,” was all that June could say after this incestuous triangle and murderous confession prematurely ended their evening of sex. “The worst of it? What do you mean, the worst of it? What do you mean by the death of her would have been the death of you, had you not found your salvation and your redemption by stumbling on the truth?”

“Just as you never know what people do behind closed, bedroom doors, you never know what skeletons people have hiding in their closets,” he said as if he was a Reverend in church giving a Sunday sermon.

Malcolm remained silent while looking at June.

“I don’t understand, Malcolm. You’re talking in riddles. What does your sister’s suicide have to do with your salvation and redemption? How much worse could things have gotten than your brothers raping your sister, you killing your brothers, and your sister committing suicide?”

“Honestly, June, that’s not even the worst of it,” said Malcolm shaking his head and taking her small hand in his big hand.

“Seriously? You’re kidding. Not the worst of it? How can it get any worse than that?”

“Sparing my older sister, Camille, from cleaning out her apartment, when I was boxing up Lucille’s belongings, I found her journal hidden under her mattress. I took it home with me and after reading it, I destroyed it.”

“What did she write?” June looked at Malcolm with a face full of apprehension.

“What didn’t she write? It was all there. What she wrote was quite the eye opener into the sordid, sexual life of my baby sister. I thought she was an Angel. I thought she was a saint. She was a whore. Much like me with all the sexual escapades I’ve done in my life, like big brother like baby sister, I had no idea she had such a dark side to her life. I thought she was one of the bright lights in my family. Always trying to emulate her goodness and positive attitude, the truth in her journal surprised me.”

“We all have things we regretted doing, Malcolm. No one lives a perfect life,” said June..

“Before I started earning a lot of money, while I was working hard to build my fortune and my brothers were being arrested and put in jail, my sister did a lot of late night clubbing. When she was unemployed for a time and desperate for cash to pay her bills, she exchanged sex for money for rent and for food. I’ve read what she wrote over so many times that I practically memorized the last page.”

“You don’t have to tell me, Malcolm, if it’s that painful,” said June stopping him but looking as if she couldn’t wait to know all the dirty czech pool porno details. “Sometimes it’s best you remember the dead in the way you remembered her when she was alive and before reading the sordid truth in her personal journal.”

“Damn, she wrote” said Malcolm ignoring June’s suggestion to not defile the memory of Lucille when his sister already had done that herself. As if praying, as if meditating, and as if calling forward all that he read from memory, he closed his eyes and remained silent for a while. Then, as if he was getting in character before reading a rehearsed script, he abruptly started speaking. “I didn’t know Malcolm was going to kill Marcus and Anthony for something they didn’t do. It was all my fault and now it’s all my fault that my brothers are dead.”

“Oh, my God,” uttered June.

“I never should have partied with them. I never should have dressed and undressed in front of them. I shouldn’t have walked around the apartment topless and naked in front of them. A sister sexually teasing her brothers, what was I thinking? Even though I’ve always been sexually attracted to them, I was asking for trouble,” continued Malcolm. “Only, I was drunk and high and as stoned as they were. It the way that I seduced my big brother, in the way that I fucked and sucked Malcolm so very long ago, I always wanted to suck and fuck Marcus and Anthony too.”

“You had sex with your sister?” June looked at him with disdain.

“It was a long time ago. We were drunk. We were troubled. We were poor. We were stupid. We were lonely and in need of some sexual comfort. As if a spark that ignites a curtain and with our young, horny bodies a blazing inferno, one thing quickly led to another. Even though we were both of age, even though she wasn’t a virgin and the sex was consensual, being that I was older and should have known better, I always felt guilty for taking advantage of her. After that, I took care of her with money in trying to make things right. Years later, when she told me that Marcus and Anthony raped her, blaming myself and still feeling bad for what I had done so long ago, I lost my mind as if I was the one who had raped her.”

“I’m sorry for prematurely prejudging you for having sex with your sister. It’s wrong but I understand now. It’s just that with my mother having sex with my husband, whether it’s a mother-in-law and son-in-law or a brother and sister, I’m unduly sensitive to that type of forbidden relationship,” said June.

“It’s okay. I understand too. I do,” said Malcolm.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you. Is there more to what Lucille wrote?”

“There is,” he said continuing to recite from memory again. “It was just a blowjob, she wrote. It was only supposed to be just a quick lay. I didn’t think they’d take things further than that. Even though I always sexually fantasized about having sex with my brothers, I never would have had sex with them had I not been high on cocaine. What happened served me right. Getting more than I bargained for, after they fucked my pussy, I couldn’t believe it when they turned me around and fucked me up the ass over and again too. Treating me like some cheap bought and paid for whore, that wasn’t right. Hurting like Hell, they could at least have lubricated my ass first.”

“Jesus Christ, Malcolm, this is unbelievable,” said June.

“I couldn’t believe it when they pounded my ass, really pounded my black ass as if I was some prison cellmate,” undaunted by June’s outrage, Malcolm continued. “I should have known with them being in prison so long that they’d prefer anal sex to regular sex, she wrote. Using me like the whore that I’ve become, over the next few days, I don’t how many times they fucked me and made me blow them. I would have fought them, if I wasn’t so enjoying the welcomed sex. I should have known what I did was wrong, but I never thought Malcolm would do what he did for the sake of me. Thinking that I was only telling him stories to get him sexually aroused in the way that I used to do when telling him about my sexual experiences with my boyfriends, I didn’t think he’d take me seriously. No longer able to live with the guilt, I wish I were dead.”

“So, just as they were all lying, in their own way, they were all telling the truth. The sex between Lucille, Marcus, and Anthony was consensual, that is, until they took her anally,” said June.

“Yes,” said Malcolm.

“And all that Lucille told you about her brothers reenacting a scene from Clockwork Orange by cutting her clothes with scissors was a lie too?”

“Yeah. With me blinded by the guilt I carried from my youth for having had sex with my what I thought was my innocent sister, I was unable to see her for who she was, a sexual woman of incestuous passion and free will. I guess I didn’t want me to know and was unable to believe that she was the instigator enticing my brothers and not the other way around,” said Malcolm with sadness.

“Obviously, blaming yourself for having sex with your sister, that makes sense that it was your guilty conscience that interfered with your judgment in seeing your sister for who she really was,” said June trying to comfort him. “I’m sure I’ll be confronting that issue myself, when my children grow older and question my logic for giving out sex for money, rent, and food.”

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