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Some bizarre things have happened in my life but the unbelievable incident with Amy and her bathroom ceiling was taking the crown and occupying my thoughts.

I left for the city the next day as previously planned and I didn’t get back to the house for more than two weeks. But there wasn’t a day of those weeks when I didn’t see her bare ass in the air, her small breast in front of my face, or the big dido nestled between her plump pussy lips. There wasn’t a day I didn’t jerk off at least once thinking of Amy in a vast range of positions and situations that weren’t even close in eroticism to the situation and positions I’d witnessed in real life.

I saw from Facebook that her life continued normally, at least outwardly, with the usual kid activities and even some happy smiling photos of her and Dave for their anniversary. It didn’t seem like divorce was on the immediate cards – neither for shoddy ceiling construction, nor for getting trapped in a tub while fucking a suction dildo and being rescued by a neighbor.

When I returned to the house she was on my mind even more. I saw her coming and going a few times on the first day and I jerked off twice more. On the morning of my second day back it was time to mow. I started on the front, then the side furthest from her property, and then her side. Despite the current state of the distractions in my head and in my cock, I finally attained the happy, zen-mowing state. I was on the very last strip, the one adjacent to her property line when I looked up and she was standing at her front door looking at me. She startled me for a second before I regained my composure. I waved a little hesitantly and she walked towards me. I stopped the cutter and killed the engine.

“Hey Amy, how are you?”

“Hi Thomas, I’m good.”

“Good,” I repeated lamely.

She seemed to take charge a little and asked me the usual questions: when I’d got in, how was the big city, how long was I staying. I stumbled through the usual answers like a tongue-tied teenager. The more obvious questions such as: “How’s the ceiling?”, “Still fucking the wall?”, “Is there any chance I could see your pussy again?”, all hung in the summer air like 500lb butterflies. Somehow they stayed locked in my mouth behind an army of my strongest filters.

“Thomas, look… about…”


“No, listen, I wanted to thank you and tell you I’m sorry and try to explain myself to you.”

“Amy… you don’t have to…”

“No, I want to. When you’ve finished the lawn I’d like you to come over for a few minutes, I’ll make you lunch if you’d like.”

Lunch! Lunch seemed so lame under the circumstances. I wanted to continue to object: no it’s not necessary, no, I’m sure you’re busy, you don’t have to. But a realisation came over me: this was what she needed. Hell, maybe it’s what I needed. “It’s sure as fuck what I needed,” said my cock.

“Sure Amy. I’m actually done but I need to blow the cuttings and jump in the shower. Twenty minutes?”

“Take your time, make it thirty, and I’ll make something nice for lunch.”

I cut the remainder of the last strip, dumped the mower in the garage, and cleared the clippings from the driveway and sidewalk in half the usual time. I ran inside and threw my grassy work clothes down the basement stairs, underwear, socks and all. I literally jumped in the shower and quickly but thoroughly washed my hair and body and finally I shaved closely and carefully. My hair is short and dries quickly. The rest of me was buffed dry with a rough towel before I even felt its bite. I cleaned my teeth, apres raze-ed my face, and brushed my hair into shape. In the bedroom I grabbed my big city jeans (as opposed to the regular crap I pull on in the country), I pulled on a newish, well-fitting T-shirt, and opted for dockers without socks for my feet. In the mirror this looked fine, season appropriate, and just about as good as it gets these days.

I had rushed so much that I was actually ten minutes early. Now I didn’t know what to do with myself. Should I be two minutes early? Boringly on time? Forget being late on purpose that wasn’t an available option. A gift! Of course! One of the female-side lessons I’d learned on the road from boyhood to middle age was the importance of gifts. Chocolate! escort sincan It’s always my go-to gift choice and there was a bunch of great British chocolate, not yet dragged out and devoured, languishing in my refrigerator. I opened the door and then questioned myself. Chocolate was a little weird in the circumstances. Too personal. Yes, wine, I said aloud when I saw the a bottle of nice chardonnay chilling on the shelf. I knew I had some wine wrapper bags in one of the kitchen drawers but, no, too fancy. I grabbed a used shopping bag instead. Would she think the wine was weird too? I’d tell her it was for later.

Five more minutes! Gahhhh! Without consciously deciding, I got down my pipe and grabbed a baggie from the freezer. I packed the bowl on autopilot, fired it up, and emptied it in two long hits. I considered another but I wanted to be chilled a little, not a blithering idiot. Damn, now I smell of weed. Back to the bathroom, wash hands and face, rinse with mouthwash, and back down the stairs. I grabbed my bottle and headed for Amy’s house. Front or back? I had no idea. I’d never visited her alone on a weekday.

I felt weird opening her yard gate and heading for the back door but it seemed preferable to standing on her front step in full view of the street with an obvious bottle in the middle of the day while her husband was out. At least I assumed he was out. Dave’s car had been there on the night I arrived but I’d seen him drive off the next morning, I hadn’t seen him come back, and it wasn’t there now.

I walked to the kitchen door and she was right there working on lunch. She looked up and saw me and motioned me inside with the chopping knife in her hand.

“Hi Amy, be careful with that thing!”

“Good timing Thomas, we’re almost ready,” she laughed.

“Here, this is for later,” I said as I’d rehearsed.

She took it from me and removed the obvious bottle from the bag by its neck. When she looked at the label she laughed again:

“Forget later,” she said as she opened the refrigerator and pointed to a bottle of chardonnay on the door, “I need a drink at lunchtime today and mine is half-warm and half the price of yours!”

She handed me the bottle, a corkscrew and two elegant glasses while she put the finishing touches on lunch. She’d made a near-perfect-middle-class-wife salad of arugula, grilled chicken, and a homemade (she told me with near-perfect-wife pride) raspberry vinaigrette dressing. There was a basket of magically-warmed bread rolls and oil and vinegar on the table for dipping. We were eating on tall chairs on either side of a granite-topped breakfast bar.

We settled into lunch and some inconsequential chit-chat. The most obvious sign of our nervousness was our frequent visits to the wine glass. Less than halfway through the salad I had to refill both our glasses. She looked up at me and said:

“You know I got my bathroom fixed?”

“Cool,” was all I could say about the 300lb purple gorilla in the room.

“The sink was chipped and the bath was scratched but I’ve filled them in with enamel paint and you wouldn’t notice. The toilet seat was cracked but the ceiling is filled and painted… and no more fucking beams!”

I couldn’t help but grin.

“Thomas, I’m so sorry about that crazy day.”

Another of my barely acquired life skills kicked in and I shut my mouth tightly and let her continue at her own speed:

“I want to explain it to you. You were awesome, you’re always awesome… Did you know Dave lost his job?”

I wasn’t expecting that part and I just nodded.

“I didn’t run around telling everyone but I guess everyone knows by now. They fired him in April and things have been hard. It’s been hard on him. It’s understandable. But he’s… he’s really struggling in some ways… it’s not… quite the same since then.”

She looked up at me and paused. I said nothing. In the crazy context of this conversation it was clear what she was saying.

“I do my best. I still bring in some money with my own work. I try to make everything easy for him. I try to keep up his spirits. I’d never, ever, say anything to him about… but I started to get a little crazy without it. I spoke to Denise, and you what she’s like, and she give me a special present ankara escort for my birthday. Two special presents if you know what I mean. A silver one and…”

I nodded. I tried to keep my face from showing the butterflies that had instantly invaded my stomach. My cock’s muffled voice came through my jeans: “She’s telling you about her fucking sex toys, dude!”

She took drained her wine glass and refilled it herself. My second was untouched but I reached for it now.

“I got a little crazy with them,” she continued, “and when no-one was home and the moment was right… well…” She paused again and took a generous sip, “well, you know… and what happened… you saw all my deepest secrets… and there’s worse.”

I sure I didn’t hide the “Worse?” from my eyes. “Worse?” yelled my cock, “worse?”

She finished glass two and I refilled us both:

“Ever since that crazy day, I’ve been worse. I’m crazy. I was crazy enough that day. Do you know that I was shaking that fucking wall when the fucking ceiling fell down?” And now I’m worse than ever. The other day I was… I was… I did something more… I never did it before…”

I’m sure my mouth was open. My cock started to stand up to hear better…

“It’s way too much information but, Thomas, I squirted! I’ve squirted once in my life with an old boyfriend when I was nineteen… Thomas, I’m a crazy woman! I’m so sorry. I’m so embarrassed. I’m mortified. The old Amy would have hidden from you for the rest of her life but the crazy Amy wanted to just thank you, to say sorry, to try to explain herself.”

She was blushing hard now but she didn’t lower her eyes, she met my stare. I refilled the glasses and I tried to concentrate on finishing the salad. I knew I had to speak.

“Amy, I’m so sorry about Dave’s job,” I said, rather than say I was sorry he wasn’t fucking her properly: “Please don’t be embarrassed. It was a fucking crazy situation but I’m so happy no-one got hurt – in any way – and no-one ever needs to know anything about it.”

“I know, I know,” she said, “it’s just so… so perverted… you’ll always know about it… you’ll never think of me the same.”

“Amy, I don’t know how to say this…” I hesitated knowing exactly what I thought about it but scrambling to find an appropriate filter, “um, I don’t think any less of you in any way. I think women are amazing and everything they do is beautiful…” (thank god for just the right amount of weed) “and you’re beautiful and anything you do with your body sexually is beautiful…”

She looked at me curiously and I paused, trying to continue without the word beautiful in every sentence… I changed tack…

“I’ve seen toys before Amy, there’s toys in my house, in my apartment, it’s normal…”

“Julia?” she asked.

“Whatever,” I said reflexively, sounding like I wouldn’t say but secretly meaning “not only” – but that’s another story…

“Thomas!” she exclaimed with a smile, “I’m telling you I’m crazy and now you have me imagining Julia in the shower…” she paused, “I don’t mean…”

“Better imagining Julia in the shower than me,” I blurted. “I don’t mean…”

We both laughed. The weed and the wine had me in a great place but Amy was a full glass ahead of me and she was buzzed. She stood up with a barely perceptible wobble and got her own bottle from the fridge. Amy and I had shared secrets now so I just reached for the bottle, opened it for her and poured her two thirds of a glass. She drank half of it and looked me in the eye:

“I’m sorry, I can’t believe I’m telling you this stuff, but you’ve seen me at my worst and I feel the need to tell you I’m not crazy… that I’m just a little crazy at the moment…”

I reached for her hand for a second and then took it away:

“You’re not crazy Amy, you’re beautiful, you’re awesome, you’re completely normal.”

“Thomas, this isn’t normal. You have no idea. If you were Dave and we were having this conversation I’d be jumping his bones right now…” her smile saddened and she lifted her hands off her knees where they’d settled unnoticed by either of us. She stopped, paused, and then the wine pushed her onward: “Or I’d have my hands in my panties…” She gasped and covered her mouth looking more shocked than etimesgut escort bayan me at what she’d just said.

The new Amy was rubbing off on me [“We wish!” leered my cock]. If she could say these things then I couldn’t hold back either.

“Go for it,” I said.


“Go ahead, do it.”

Her eyes opened wide. She just stared at me. Her near-perfect-wife brain spun worthlessly for a moment but somehow her hands were back on her legs again. She gasped and leaned forward.

“Don’t think I wouldn’t! I shouldn’t. I can’t.”

I looked her in the eyes: “Do it,” I said softly.

She looked right back and then brought her left hand back to the tabletop. I noticed it because she had to reach across for her glass. She took a sip, closed her eyes, and took another. Her face seemed to relax and her upper body froze in place. I could easily imagine what she was doing out of sight. In less than a minute she stiffened, a grin flashed across her face and then softened.

“Holy fuck!” my cock said as he tried valiantly to look over the countertop, “she just fucking got off in front of you dude!”

Her eyes flashed open and she blushed redder than ever.

“Jesus, Thomas, I’m going crazy. What will we do with me?”

“I’ll do nothing to you Amy,” I said, stressing the word change, “you do anything you want Amy, do anything that feels good, but you don’t need any complications… you need something healthy and… and pure.”

She looked at me with a new-found respect.

“Thank you, I’m so sorry! But what about you? What do you do? It’s been a while since Julia was here.”

“Don’t worry about me Amy, I don’t need anything. I think you’re amazing, you’re incredible, I’m amazed that you… that you are… sharing this.” I paused before taking a weed-wine leap forward, “Listen, I have a silly idea… it’s silly…”

“Tell me! Do it!”

She had me on that. I leaped: “You’ve been a little tiny bit crazy and then you had a crazy situation. You couldn’t talk to anyone about it. It’s actually kinda traumatic…” I went on hesitantly, “There’s something they do for people with trauma. They… re-enact the event in a safe way. They let the person work through it.” I stopped. I think I just told her that I wanted to see her naked in the bath again.

I think she thought the same but she said: “What do you mean? Re-enact?”

This was out of control. In for a penny, in for a pound: “Let’s re-enact the whole bathroom thing without all the pain and suffering. It will… help us work though a few things… I know it’s a crazy idea for a crazy situation but, if you trust me, I think it will help you in a whole lot of different ways.”

She looked at me more curiously that ever: “I trust you,” she said, I’ll do it.” Then she looked at the clock: “Tomorrow, can we do it tomorrow? I will do it but the kids will be home in an hour and I have to clean up and sober up. I’m free from ten tomorrow…”

“That’s fine, Amy, fine. Tomorrow is perfect.” I took my cue and stood up to leave. “Lunch was awesome Amy, I appreciate it,” I said rather ridiculously since she, my cock, and I all knew I meant: “I can’t believe you just masturbated in front of me Amy!”

She stood up too. She seemed halfway back to sober now. She hugged me and held me tight.

“Thank you Thomas, thank you, I’m sorry!”

I just squeezed her tighter for a second trying to say: “You’re welcome and stop being sorry.”

“Here”, she said, “take this home with you.” And she suddenly held her right middle fingers under my nose.

Stunned, I sniffed them hard and her scent and pheromones hit my brain like a sledge hammer. My cock went from half power to full steam in a heartbeat. Taking advantage of my shock, she pulled them from my nose to my lips and I instantly opened my mouth to taste her. My cock almost burst. She retrieved her deviant digits and hugged me again then, stepped back, and smiled at me. I’d bet my mouth was still hanging open and no speech was possible but I forced my feet to walk me to and through the door.

“Send me an email with times… and… instructions or whatever,” she called after me.

When I got home I rushed up stairs, tore off my clothes and collapsed on my bed. My cock was soaked in precum and it demands for my attention were not possible to refuse. I tried to replay everything but in a minute I was spurting cum all over my tummy and chest.

“Fucking hell,” I said as he softened in my hand.

“Dude!” he gasped.

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